A New Mission: My Commitment To You

So this week has been a BIG week in the mind of Jess. I was presented a more innovated outlook for my life through a book recommended by dear MELL. I've talked about this book with some of you online and in person, and I can't get enough of it. I rarely ever finish a book in a week but i did it. I did it cause this book had such a deep impact on my mindframe and you beautiful people will reap the rewards of this incredible literature. The book - Love is the Killer App by Tim Sanders.

Lessons This Book Help me Learn .. which in turn, I hope yall will try and digest:
1. Bizlove is the act of intelligently and sensibly sharing your intangibles with your bizpartners. It is a matter of sharing your knowledge, your network of relationships, and your compassion - or any combination of those three. And this is the killer app.
2. Nice, smart people succeed - not the shrewd, the mean.
3. Love is the selfless promotion of the growth of the other.
4. When we start a job, whther as a recent graduate or seasoned professional, we take on a contract to create more value than what we are paid. If we don't add value to our employer, we are value losses. What the hell is YOUR VALUE?
5. Without a network, knowledge is nearly useless. You get value from your knowledge, but it becomes real when you share it with your peeps.
6. Compassion is a personal quality a machine will never possess.
7. Attention is one of the world's scarcest resources and decsion-maker attention is something companies are willing to spend billions on. Attention is money. Bizlove gets you attention. Other get only time. The difference between having their time and their attention is the difference between ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, but the pig is committed.
8. Business education without execution is just entertainment. Execute your moves.
9. Dale Carnegie: "You''ll accomplish more in the next two months by developing a sincere interest in two people than you'll ever hope to accomplish in two years trying to get two people interested in you."
10. Don't just be involved, be committed to as much as you can in your life. Says me.

A lot of the above may sound a 'lil buttery, a 'lil cheddary to you, but at the end of the day, this is what counts and I have a gut feeling it's gonna make a difference, hence, from this day forth, I'm gonna try and stick with this newfound innovative idea and declare my commitment to be a guiding light, a helping hand in seeing that I will help you grow/succeed in any way I can. Anyone with me?

(If you read every word of this entry, I thank you sincerely for doing so, because you are THIIIIIIS MUCH more wiser and I hope you find at least one of those 10 things significant. Now go share it.)

Do You Prefer the Truth or The Lie?

The movie CLOSER has been kinda recommended to me by a few friends recently and I also wanted to see it myself. Those that have seen it have called the movie, "disturbing", a "mind*uck" and intense --- I watched it with Mell and sis Pat and I left realllly liking the movie.......not... "gotta wait in line for the dvd to come out" like but liked it in such a way because it made me leave after the movie questioning how I would prefer the relationships in my life (of lack thereof).... would I want them completely truthful or full of lies??

After watching CLOSER this evening, I've been faced with asking myself whether I'd prefer the truth or the lie. Is ignorance indeed bliss or does truth really set you free? Does 'fessing up and freeing your own guilt really the right cure even if it leads the other party crazymadpsycho? Or should you carry the burden of your guilt and not tell anyone and punish yourself with the guilt that's hidden in the depths of your soul?

How about gettin' rid of all the guilt and need to decide between truth and lies by NEVER COMMITTING any acts that lead up to that decision to begin with?!?!? Which brings me to the theme of THE MOMENT...that point in your life when you have your freewill, your choice, to decide between A and B? This is the moment where you decide if you want to *uck up or get it right and realize that you better be able to live with it, otherwise, SHUT THE HELL UP and go sit your butt in the corner. Every person has that MOMENT where they say, yes or no. If you have that self-control, that rare, precious ability to think straight.... you just might save yourself some stress in your life, huh?

FREE-WILL. CHOICE. Set your damn self free from the stress. The moment..... is all you've got.

So do I prefer the truth or the lie? Tough question...but I'd have to say...gimme the truth...but dust it with powdered sugar. The heart can only take soooo much fire.

MEN: THERE IS HOPE FOR ME........maybe?

The Story of Girl that Gets Hit on at the Ralph's Deli Counter...by a ghetto fabulous salvation army bell ringer. (this doesn't even do justice)

Ok. Just got home from getting my haircolored, getting a pedi and buying groceries at Ralph's. And have I got a wonderful entry for ALL OF YOU. Today, my trip reknewed my faith in the possibility that men just might be interested in me......but, of course, I didn't mention what kind of men!

So I got to Ralph's today after getting my hair-colored in the Valley (for the newline xmas party tonight, yay! I'm Tin's +1!) and getting a pedicure. Here I am, in my wonderfully flat-ironed hair with amazing pedicure, strolling thru Ralphs buying the likes of water, salmon, frozen chicken and top sirloin.... I suddenly have the urge to get a Grilled Focaccia Panini from the great deli counter since I've been eyein' one for days.....so I push the cart on over and grab a number and waiting patiently among a handful of men waiting to get a sandwich. La-di-da... I patiently survey the scene...there's a tall white man getting his sandwich made, a tall light-skinned black man waiting, and a black Salvation Army Bell Ringer (description: 5'7", curly hair under a cap, kinda dishelved, raspy voice, not my kinda guy) who grabbed the previous number ahead of me and a bunch of friendly-looking deli associates catering to our sandwich needs.... SABR (salvation army bell ringer) comes up behind me and says:

SABR: Hey..how ya doin'?
(Being the kind person I am I respond. My biggest mistake...looking back)
Me: Great! Thanks and you?
SABR: I'm doin' good.
Me: That's good. (I smile and await my # in line)
Deli Associate calls SABR's number and he orders 2-pieces of fried chicken. And I'm hoping conversation with SABR has commenced.
SABR: My guess is that you have a boyfriend??
Me: (thinking... uhhh...oh no... must lie....) Yeah, I do. (sympathy smile)
SABR: Awee, well you must have some single friends?
Me: (thinking...oh shit, great, what did I just get myself into?) Mmm.. I have some of each.
SABR: Well lemme tell you, how bout I give you my number to give to your friends and you have them call me. Do me that favor?
Me: Kinda like a gift that keeps on giving?
SABR: Yeah, just like that.
Me: (nods, speechless)
Deli Associates asks what I want... I order...hoping SABR won't actually give me his 7-Digits...I look over to my left, and he is kneeling on the ground ripping a piece of paper off and scribblin'.
SABR: Here ya go. (passes me the scrap of paper) Lemme say this, your friends would be doing themselves a diservice if they don't call me, so have them call me?
Me: I'll try! (smile)
SABR walks off
Me: (i breathe a sigh of relief and look over to my left and the other black man in line is smirking and I am blushing out of embarassment.. he says, "what was that fool doin'?!?!?" I respond, "You try to be nice..and look where it gets you....!" He goes, "Yeah, I know how that is...hahah"..me continuing to be embarassed, black man continues laughing, and I look up and see DELI ASSOCIATE MAN smirking. I go, "You heard that going down too?" Black Man: "Yeah he did, he was right across the street there!" Other Deli Associate Woman who helped me with my order won't stop smiling and laughing either.

So this was my embarassing-WEIRD experience of the day.. in the DELI line @ a RALPH'S nonetheless. WTF?! SABR was total g-fabulous and not-my-type, he attempts to hit on me and then indirectly my friends, offers me his phone number, I have an audience watching all of this, I have audience commentary and a well-amused audience. LASLTY, I will forever be THEIR STORY TO TELL ABOUT THE GIRL WHO GOT HIT ON IN LINE @ THE DELI COUNTER BY A foolish SALVATION ARMY BELL RINGER!!!!

Let's re-cap why the above DELI DATING situation might have happened this afternoon:
A. The freshly chemically-colored hair
B. The freshly french pedicured toes
C. I give off endorphines that attract only g-fabulous Bell Ringers who like 2-pieces of chicken from the Ralph's Deli Counter.
(all signs point to C.)
EDITED: or OPTION D thanks to nick: THE BOOOOTAY junk in the trunk.

I hope this entertained you a lil bit and gives you and I faith that, yes, there are men out there who find me the least bit...inviting enough. My self-esteem soars!

MUSIC: Man, Do You Move Me.

My friend didn't want to go alone to go buy LP's the other evening and I even told him buying music is a very alone thing to do ---but alas, he dragged me out and we went to AMOEBA MUSIC in Hollywood --- a music lover's wet dream. This place has EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. New music. Used music. Dusty ol' LP crates that make your fingers gray after flippin' thru half a crate. Foreign movies. Bargain DVD's. And Winamp listening stations. Anyways... we were there for about 2 hours I'd say.... my friend left with prolly $200 of LP's and I left buying the ALFIE SOUNDTRACK (don't hate, it's produced my Mick Jagger -- how wimpy could it be?), Joss Stone Soul Sessions (she's flippin awesome ...at age 17!) and Yo-Yo Ma Plays Ennio Morricone (Yo-Yo plays the cello and Morricone is a magnificent movie composer and this cd is unbelievable).

Anyways, I know I've written blogs-a-many about music or lyrics, but, for the love of god, music is incredible with its powers to move a person emotionally and change a crap day into a good day. And it's quite lovely how my fav instruments -- piano, guitar and violin can combine to make heaven: heaven also = vanilla bean cheesecake as well.

Anyways, music is heaven and I have an insatiable appetite for good music...foood...and foood..and my choice of movies and tv. So crank up the 5.1 surround, jump your bottom onto the couch, make a permanent indentation, pop open a bottle of wine, whip up some good grub and sit back...cuz this is undoubtfully.... La Dolce Vita.

Ok, Ladies, Wake Up, "MOVE ON!"

In light of the recent hysteria occuring over the book, "He's Just Not Into You," I'd like to provide a funny and insightful nutshell link about the author and the book found on cnn.com: http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/books/11/29/books.hes.not.into.you.ap/index.html

A lil vignette follows for you to get you to want to read the article or book...(i haven't read the book, fyi, cuz basically, the message is very succinct. If he really wanted to date you, he'd show it, therefore, if he isn't, MOVE THE HELL ON. He's chopped liver.)

*He's Just Not THat Into You if ... He's Not Calling You. ( With the advent of cell phones and speed dials it's almost impossible not to call you. Seomtimes you can eve call people from your pant pockets when you don't even mean to.)

*He's Just Not That Into You if... He's Not Asking You Out. (Sadly, not wanting to see you in person is massive as far as dating obstacles go.)

And remember, "One simple rule, ladies, always be classy. Never be crazy. It will ensure that you never have that awful memory of cutting his clothes in half or leaving his dog by the side of the road."

Wake up and smell the coffee, this goes for the gentlemen out there too. She's Just Not That Into You.

SETTLE DOWN, SETTLE DOWN. =)

Ok. So my last entry created a lil "pot stirrring" so I will edit, not retract, my comment about 75/25 dating.

What I'm really about is that the guy is well-mannered, chilvarous and wants to offer to pay/open/etc. etc. because he genuinely wants to! Whether or not I let him, is a different story. Of course I won't let him pay for everything! Show up with genuine offers and genuine feelings, and no one's complaining.

Therefore, I bring back an old lyrics: "So long as I'm living', true love I'll be givin', to you I'll be servin', cause you're so deservin'."

OK. Now the real subject of today's entry: FULFILLMENT.

Talkin to Annette online today, I was told to turn on Oprah cuz she was doin' fantasy weddings. I turn to Channel 7 and it's Oprah talking bout weddings and how she threw a few weddings for friends. La-di-da I watch and she goes on about reasons to have a wedding when you should have them. Lesson's learned from the Big O: get married when you feel like you don't even need a wedding, hence, it's not about the wedding, but about the love yall have already that's fully intact. It's about being fulfilled with yourself and in your personal life and not looking for it in some sort of event, or other person, or other out-of-body place. Can you say, HELL YEAH?

I think in life we're all subconsciously trying to find a way to feel fulfilled....this quest is obviously easier for some than others. The majority of us attempt to find fulfillment out side of ourselves and fail to realize.... you can't put your eggs into a basket that keeps changing with or without you. The only thing you can ever control is yourself and your own internal mind/self. You say go. You so no.

Anyways, the funny part of this story is.... Annette wanted me to watch the actual OPRAH show on Fantasy Weddings..but due to me living in LA and her living in SF, Oprah's on an hour earlier in LA...and I JUST HAPPENED to catch the news' feature story on OPRAH. HAR. HAR. It was destiny.

A Few Things Learned This Weekend....
and a few additions into my expansive expressions and quips...

and footnotes for my life. =)

"Put your passion into action."

"No crapping out."

Dairy is only for the strong. gastrically. *wink*

Good shoulders. Good arms. Makes us weak. Makes us putty at your fingertips.

Hence forth, you must go through Stage A before entering Stage B or Stage C. Once you skip a stage, THERE IS NO GOING BACK. You are ruined. Respect the stages, or be screwed. We have learned, unfortunately. *skess and jess's conclusion*

If I'm attracted to a stranger, chances are they are tall. They are white.
If you are shorter and I'm attracted to you, then that means we'd have to be friends already. Does that make sense?! hahah.

AND A COUPLE QUESTIONS??

Should short girls save the tall boys for the tall girls?

What is the guy/girl pay ratio when participating in the dating ritual? 75/25. Done! And anyways, what guys provide monetarily and what girls provide non-monetarily, all evens out. If these two participants are sane creatures.

Why is there no Desperate Housewives tonight?! Damn, AMA's.

Annual pic: Chen Girls. 

Are you ready for this jelly??? Christina is. 

annneettte, are you startled? 

cuties pat, kat, tin. 

colin sloshhhhed and jess 

tiiiiin and jess.  

smooochie-rooochie.  

parke and tin.... i photographed this and it's AWESSSSOME and CUTE!!!!! 

brian (confused as hell) and christina 

the girls: blinded by the fruit of another. at least jess and kat. WORLDLY SHOUT OUT TO THE WORLD: you can be asian and NOT HAVE TO WEAR BLACK TO A CLUB. We are proof. *sizzle sizzle* 

tin and x4 get close on the d-floor. 

my fave JEWISH GURRRLS! SUSAN (with her new HAIR and HIGHLIGHTS!!) and SUSIE with her sexysexy top. 

nick. the salmon salad(hella good) and me (very wined up. wahhh) 

Eric and the HOT JEWISH GIRLS of Le Petit Bistro: Susan and Susie! 

Couz Amanda and her friends with ALB pre-food. 

@ Le Petit Bistro.. the girls scarf down foooooood. 

The Yearly Picture: Cousins 

Pink and Rose Red. heheh. 

mell.jess.annette. mell and annette showin' skin in their hot bebe tops.  

after-clubbin' munchies. most of us choose burgers, pizza, hot dogs.... mell prefers... cardboard finger puppets. 

a more joyful puppet show than the previous pat-kat madness. 

after prey festivities included playing with cardboard puppets that came with the recent MAXIM magazine. Here... pat and kat have a heated puppet fight...with intense facial expressions. 

photogen eroc and pat 

danny and kat 

myself and nick (some girl on the dance floor tried to rape him..hence the "open shirt" )