I Can't Even Remember The Last Time I Blogg'd

When I can't remember when I blogged last, it has prolly been a VERY long time or because of LACK OF interesting/shocking/fun/good food in my life. So let me think realllly hard, think realllly deep and come up with some good stuff from the psykadelik place called my mind. Hopefully, I'll have some funny stuff for yall to laugh at, giggle to, sympathize with or jog your mindcells a bit! Ya ready?!

*I remember that I got walked in on Peeing @ Cabo Cantina
So some"krew"er's and I decide to go happy hour @ Cabo Cantina. After ordering up a storm before the 8pm cut-off, Jess is obviously a drink past RED = the seal must be broken. Sometimes mother nature doesn't give you a very wide window from "I should go pee" to "Shit! I pee'd in my pants" and when nature calls, Jess says, HELLLLO! Instead of waiting patiently in line for the Lil' Girl's Room, I b-line into the Men's Single/One-stall Restroom. Zip in, lock the door, squat!

As I'm squatting luxuriously (girl's, you know how it is!) oooh'ing and ahhing and the feeling of total relief, I hear the door being jiggled -----BAM! I'm peeing and here comes 20-something Black man all "deer-in-the-headlights", and I go, "OH SHIT!" and he goes, "Oh god!" as I continue to pee (once you start, you really can't stop) He shuts the door obviously and I'm part mortified. Duh. LUCKY for me, no frontal peep show was presented... only side view of the thunder thighs! Whew!!! =) Anyways, I think I'm home free as I strut back to the table with my sexy emptied bladder, and BAM! Who's at the table next to us? PEEPING TOM..... telling his friends the restroom story! To ease the blow, I of course, hollar @ him with full confidence, "The Restroom is free now!" (smile). So yeah, did you like that story?!?!

Man, I was so juiced at typing the above story I feel like I'm outta creative funny vibes. Hmmm.

*I'm missin' my gurls!
Lonely In Los Angeles is my handle for 2 more weeks =( Sister Pat is overseas, Kat is back in AZ and I hate not having my staple Chen's around. BOOOO Flippin' HOOO! After careful analysis and recollection of my childhood/youth/teenagedom/collegehood, I've come to realize that I've been single this long cuz I've always had my sorority sisters , best friend Mell and/or theKat-Pat around to keep my company over the years. I've really never had a period of time to even comprehend a need to go out and find some Placeholder to be a bf. I'm not saying that I'm in some zone where I feel that I should outreach and find a bf, but I must say, the feeling of loneliness is definitely more pronounced without the Kat-Pat here to slow the blow. Maybe the day has come when invincible Jess is no longer! Jk. I'm still here... just slightly...innnntsy weentsy a lil more aware that I'm lonely once in a while. There I said it. Blech. Anyways, I've got my solid gurls to keep my company through the forever dry spell so ..........the band plays on! Doo-dooo doo!!!!

*J-Date in the HIZZZ-OUSE!
Okay, I'm not on J-Date but my friend S is trying to get me to sign up. She says it's time. =). I don't necessarily have to join the dating service of choice by the Chosen Ones but something similar to it since I'm not from the House of J. I must admit, I've been firmly against the whole online dating thing, but you know, the world couldn't possibly get drier. Don't get me wrong, I totally believe there are decent guys out there.... they just aren't crossing paths with me.....we're probably not even on the same wavelength.... hahh... but hey, I think he's out there. I'm in no hurry to get hitched, build a house, bake buns in the oven (pun here, peeps) or "Cater 4 U" as Destiny's Child calls it, but I'd like some reassurance that I'm actually connecting with a solid and funny man! By connecting I mean, reciprocity! That's honestly, half the battle outside of being able to tolerate their company. =) Ok, I think I drifted from the initial topic! Ok, so I told my friend S, by my bday this year, I'll let her sign me up for her online choice, for her sake. And maybe, a lil mine. Might as well broaden the horizons...even if it is to the next galaxy cuz whatever world I'm living in right now....yes, that's right, the retail work world where every guy is either gay, too into himself, or an aspiring actor/model (not my match), there's not exactly a soulmate in sight. I will gladly sign up for whatever other options are out there.

The one ray of boy-related sunshine from this weekend though, I met a boy who's a big FOODIE just like me! Yay! When a guy knows what OAXACAN food is, you know he's a CERTIFIED SOLID FOODIE....(or OAXACAN himself)! DING DING DING!